The Hero Stage

Some days I feel like a child, struggling to express feelings and concepts while only having basic words to work with. These days, every third sentence out of my mouth seems to start with, "Well, Jordan Peterson said..." except that name will often change out for Thomas Sowell or C.S. Lewis, as the situation calls for.

To some extent, I'm embarrassed how often this happens. Have I no original ideas? Great, I think, I'm a writer who writes fanfiction and now even my ideas and beliefs are just derivative.

I have to remember that I'm learning. I'm in the sponge stage. I'm inhaling as much non-fiction from good writers as I can manage. I've been doing this for several years now. To date I've logged at least 74 unique non-fiction titles that I've read completely through in the 6 or 7 years that I've been doing this, not counting re-reads of some of these titles which does occur. I've dropped 14 books partway through for various reasons.

Before I delved into non-fiction, I still had inspiration. Bill Myers, Kathy Tyers, Karen Hancock, and Ted Dekker were the people whose stories I most admired as a kid and teenager. Peter Beagle and Naomi Novak have entered the lists as I've gotten older. Still, it's something really special for a writer and deep thinker to enter your closed-up little world in accessible language and tell you that the world is much bigger than you thought AND you are capable of handling this increased understanding. For me, the three people who did that the most for me have been C.S. Lewis, Thomas Sowell, and Jordan Peterson.

In addition to telling me--through their writing--that my world can be bigger and that I can change and grow, they themselves do (or have done) no less. With only a passing familiarity of the story of each man, I know that each changed. Grew. Collapsed into a little pile of rubble and then rebuilt their lives. Each one was possessed by a search for truth that guided what and how they wrote.

I understand that heroes disappoint. I'm aware that it is unwise to place all adoration at their feet or set those feet on a pedestal. Even so, there is something childishly delightful about combing through said person's life work and babbling to everyone around me, "See this idea? This idea changed everything for me. It opened up so many possibilities in my thinking. I'm so grateful this person exists!"

I am slowly working on exposing myself to alternative viewpoints. But whatever I learn from those new voices, I am still happy and grateful for the time I get to enjoy this "Hero Stage" of learning. And I am beyond grateful for the lives and works of C.S. Lewis, Thomas Sowell, and Jordan Peterson.